It's almost like christmas...?

[cray]

[It was the dead of night before anyone had seen Cray move, and perhaps most people didn't. During the past days he'd overheard some people in need of things, things he was capable of providing. Though they had turned down his assisstance to his face he was a determined bastard.]

[Ted would find outside his room door a new bow and quiver, and Minin would find outside hers a set of various small air compressors. He of course risked their fury and getting his gifts thrown back in his face, but he didn't let that sway him, he was determined to prove that he wasn't a deranged psychopath who wanted to kill everyone. He just wanted to be seen as a person.]

[Also anyone else he might have overheard requesting something eh was capable of making (Alchemy items, including potions and poisons, pretty much all forms of weapons and ammo or parts) he would have dropped them off a gift too. He made those sorts of things in bulk for a living before so making a handful was no problem. Also do feel free to catch him in the act of dropping off your gift.]

Comments

[cray]

[He supposed it was odd that he could show up with nothing and suddenly produce high quality weapons, but he had done the same in Kooluk all those years ago after fleeing Scarlet Moon.]

Oh, that was easy. I used to be a very successful arms dealer in the past. Again I started with nothing but the clothes on my back. I know how to concoct various antidotes and poisons using fairly common herbs, so that's how I started. I also know how to find and hunt some fairly rare creatures, I used to live in a forest...

The rest is easy, buy the right materials and you're good to go. I figured if I was capable of making a functioning arm I could make other things, seems I found my calling in weapons...


[Honestly, multi-talented was too small a word for this guy.]

[aloof_savant]

I see...

[ Caesar cringes slightly, not so much at the sketchy story but at the thought of having to actually do so much work. He is, after all, lazy at his core. Speaking of which, he's incredibly sleepy but also wishes to extend this chat longer. ]

I'm actually on my way out. Care to walk with me?

[cray]

[He gave a small smile at the offer. It sure made a difference to have someone be even semi friendly.]

Sure.

[aloof_savant]

[ Pleased to hear the response, he starts walking ahead. Truth is, he's been meaning to talk to Cray alone for a while. There's a short moment of silence as they're walking before Caesar opens the dialogue again. ]

How would you say your stay at Budehuc has been so far?

[cray]

[He follows keeping pace with Caesar.]

Uh, it's alright I guess. It's a nice place in a nice location, there's plenty of good people here too. But mostly I guess it's...lonely. Then again I reckon I'll feel that wherever I go.

[aloof_savant]

Hm. Are you being treated well?

[cray]

I guess so. I keep to myself mostly.

[aloof_savant]

[ He slows down momentarily. ]

Cray... there is no need to lie to me. I appreciate honesty in my discussion more than any minced words. [ After all, he never holds back on his thoughts either. ]

[cray]

[He sighed.]

Well some people are less than nice. I've been threatened a few times. But it's partly my fault. Like my old corporal used to say "What the fuck are you doing?! You.Human.Question Mark!"

[aloof_savant]

See, that's more like it.

[ Caesar didn't quite understand the reference, but assumes his corporal was a kobold or one of the other many non-human races in the world. ]

Are you surprised that some are making you feel less than welcome?

[cray]

[No his corporal was as human as any of them. Just slightly crazy. Well slight wasn't really the word...]

No, not really. I just wish I could at least show them, once, that I'm not the person they knew during that war. I don't even know who the hell I was then.

[aloof_savant]

That's understandable, at least. Let me ask you this, then... who are you? What are you about? What is it you wish they would see in you?

[cray]

That I'm.... just a person, I suppose. I mean, I had a son once, I would have done anything for him. Even defy the very Gods.

That's who I am. A person. A...father. Just a flawed, insignificant human being. One of millions.

[aloof_savant]

Ah! Now we're getting somewhere!

[ He does believe that everyone is flawed, so hearing that admission of imperfection makes him feel there's some hope for this man. Now time to turn this into a Silverberg lesson. ]

However, flawed fathers can still cause a lot of suffering. Most of have one, some of us will be one. Why should the people of the Island Nations Federation like you? [ Caesar poses the question objectively, something worth to think over. ] Why is it so important?

[cray]

[Ah Silverberg lessons. He knew them so well.]

Geez...you sound like Elenor...

[He stopped walking, thinking, setting his brilliantly critical mind to work, as Elenor had taught him.]

...To prove that humanity's better side will out. Wherever, whoever, whatever. So that not just the individual, but all, may find peace.

[aloof_savant]

[ He ponders about his words, too, for a moment. ]

...But therein lies your flaw. Aren't you just doing this because you're lonely? Forcing presents unto those who find that befriending you will cause them more distress than peace... Aren't you really doing this for yourself, Cray? [ He means no harm, of course, only staying true to their honest conversation... and the point of his lesson. ]

[cray]

[He started walking again.]

Partly. I guess. I mean, some young lad came in here exhausted, penniless and weaponless. So I left him a weapon. He doesn't need to be my friend he doesn't need to thank me. Just take it, and use it to protect himself. No one should be walking around this world without a means in which to protect themselves.

[Really it was that simple. He supposed that was the father in him.]

[aloof_savant]

[ Caesar gathers that he's talking about Ted, and already knows that Ted and Cray met in their timeline from when he first met the seemingly young man. ]

I don't disagree with that at all. However, going back to humanity's flaws... you must consider that the young lad is flawed, too. Accepting your gift would mean him accepting your past misgivings. His pride would never allow it, and thus, while your offer seems benevolent, it also comes across as insensitive to how he feels.

Your path of atonement must begin at understanding others first, not them understanding you. It's a difficult one, no doubt... Silverbergs can teach you all about tactics, but few of them understand true empathy.

[cray]

[He sighed. Caesar was right. Silverbergs were always right.]

You're right. I suppose too many years of lonliness and mistakes has made me hasty.

[aloof_savant]

You're not the only one. Agnes, too, has lived a life of solitude... she is learning many of these things herself. You must realize that it may take her years-- decades, to accept you as a comrade. I myself have felt her fury, but underneath her strong exterior is a vulnerable girl. Capable of love and kindness far greater than mine.

As are you, I'm sure, Graham Cray. After all, you were both Elenor's students.

[cray]

I know how Agnes suffers. The same as me. We both lost the person we cared about most. That dart I shot at Elenor. It missed, but it was loaded with a nonlethal poison. Enough to knock her out. I hoped that in doing so someone would take her the hell out of El-Eal. Another stupid idea from another stupid human.

[He gave a small, sad smile.]

I just wish more people would realize that truth. All the truths.

[aloof_savant]

Yeah, but, you also blew up an island. Lethally.

I've heard the stories, but my point is... I'm not here to drag you through mud or anything. No matter which way this story is told, you're not the good guy... and you know that. [ Although he sounds harsh, he is only speaking plainly with no malice. That, and he has reached his chambers so the time to part has come. ]

But, thankfully, tomorrow is a new day, right?

[cray]

Oh I know. See if only I really was an idiot then that wouldn't have happened. To be capable of doing something so extreme...and losing your mind and principles. [He shuddered.]

Yeah it is. See you around, Caesar.

[aloof_savant]

Now--

[ He sighed. It sounded as if Cray was praising himself at times, and self-loathing at others. He could understand why others would find him disingenuous... it seemed as if teaching him real empathy would take some time, if even possible. ]

Sleep well.
...And I am sorry about your son. [ He should have said that earlier, but was too caught up in teaching again. ]